September Equinox, 1983,
I arrive to this world.
4.5 billion people here already.
As I write this, I am 35 years old, year 2019...almost 8 billion people here now...
...and I am sorry to each and every last one of you.
I am sorry for the choices, the ignorance, the greed and the apathy of myself and of us all.
In such a beautiful world,
of diversity and resilience,
my own species caused more harm than good
while claiming the title of "Most Intelligent".
Yet even a tree gives life and causes no harm. Animals great and small live within the cycles of nature and respect her decisions.
But we humans believe we are above that as our behavior clearly shows.
We pulled ourselves out of this system, thinking we could do better.
I know the ignorance is hard to imagine.
We should not have measured our intelligence by our potential.
Just like a chain is only as strong as its weakest link,
we are only as intelligent as we act in reality, not as we could potentially act.
Potential is nothing, if it is never realized.
Now I wonder:
What good was renewable energy when children are starved to death over oil?
What good was the creation of an herbicide for better crops, when that same chemical was used to gas and kill in concentration camps?
What good is having a world of information at our fingertips if we use the Internet to make our world smaller?
What good was an Earth to feed every last one of us if we chose to distribute nutrition based on money instead of need?
What good are molecular biology or plant genetics if we use them to force the purchase of new seeds each year?
We had so much potential, but failed to act in so many ways.
Was it all my fault?
Does it even matter now?
Was I that one snowflake that fell like all the others but when it landed shifted the glacier into motion toward it's fate? And if I did not singlehandedly collapse the world, could I say the same for just one child gone too soon?
I wonder if I could have skipped the straw, would that bird still be flying?
And if I just skipped the gas pump, could I have avoided the funding of corruption?
Or the death of innocent souls?
Would I sleep better at night if I knew my hands were clean?
And why, oh why, could I have not been born 100 years ago, when none of this was a choice and nothing I did would or could have impacted my brothers and sisters around the globe?
Now everything we do ripples so far...
Yet, somehow, we never learned to care for what we could not see. We never learned to collectively feel the suffering of another.
We all turned a blind eye and kept on going as if It were all okay,
but we all knew It wasn't.
We almost never dared talk about It. We numbed It with pills, alcohol and drugs, all the addictions....anything for a distraction.
Even as our rivers flowed with caffeine and anxiety medications, we continued to grind forward,
ever faster,
ever blinder,
ever more numb.
And all we truly had to do was breathe.
As you read this, please realize that there is still hope.
There is always some hope.
So fight for what is right.
Fight for it like your life depends on it.
And do it now.
There is no time to waste.
As for me, I'm sorry I didn't stop it all.
I'm sorry I felt inadequate,
overwhelmed,
scared and guilty
but not strong enough to fight back against it all.
Believe me, it's worth it. But I have nothing but excuses, and they are worthless, much like my encouragement to you,
because I am no one to believe in.
I lie even to myself.
I am no one to inspire,
when I set such a poor example myself.
And I am no one to encourage you,
when the weight of the world left me crippled.
Signed:
S.P.
human #4,701,530,843 and warrior in the battle of choices
Feel the same.
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